The Greatest Fear

“A beautiful sunset that was mistaken for a dawn.”

-- Claude Debussy --

The second single recorded at Method Of Groove Studios in Brooklyn, NY by Joey Z

This song was really emotional to get through for me. The genesis from a lyrical standpoint is that I am capturing the moment when Brian and I saw his Mom pass away from cancer. Unfortunately, after months of going to the hospital every day Brian received a call that she had finally died in her sleep, it is always a horrible idea when you wish you could be there for the person in that moment to comfort them. Instead we were rushing into the aftermath, there was a surreal moment when we were gathered at her bed saying goodbye but she was lifeless and even though he was there everyday and night for months there is an unavoidable heavy cloud of regret that hangs there. The absurd notion of "What if I could only have gotten there an hour earlier and I could have been with her when she was passing." I am really recounting what I saw Brian go through and how I felt sympathetic grief as well as grief. Trying to get through this in a studio setting was hard because your trying to really give emotion but not be a fucking mess getting through it.
To do this song in the studio, I actually began to attach a different meaning to the song. I am really moved by a poem called "Broken and Beirut." It is in the Book Of Female Arab Poetry. I feel as a female American I can be really removed and confused by the role of women in Islamic soceity. Reading this book of poetry really moved me toward more of an understanding of the "Arab Woman" through her own eyes: Her art. Art and not rhetoric for me really is the best way to wrap my mind around subjects that can be emotional. These poems are so raw and beautiful and hopeless that I found they moved me in the same way that the death of Brian's Mom did. It helped me to capture the feeling of "utterly hopeless in helping someone" and desperately wanting to take the pain away from someone you care for when they are going through it.
Musically, Joey Z is of course truly brilliant on this and I am really excited by the fresh variable of Cliff Catropa who is playing bass on this. I couldn't be happier that they were able to round this song out.
I hope you enjoy this.
Jane